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PRACTICE ESSAY PROMPTS
1. How does Wolff employ the technique of hindsight to create sympathy for Jack?
2. “This Boy’s Life” demonstrates the struggle to find an identity in a harsh environment. Discuss.
3. How does the memoir demonstrate the long lasting effects that family can have on a person?
4. “He asked me who I thought I was. I did not know how to answer this question.” Jack knows who he is, he just does not like who he is. To what extent do you agree?
5. The memoir ends in an optimistic way so that readers see hope for Jack’s future quests to find himself. Do you agree?
6. ‘This Boy’s Life’ is a depressing and pessimistic account of a boy’s search for his identity.’ Do you agree?
7. Why do readers sympathise with Jack?
8. “This Boy’s Life” is a memoir narrated by Wolff and therefore readers do not get an unbiased impression of other characters. Discuss.
9. “I didn’t come to Utah to be the same boy I’d been before. I had my own dreams of transformation.” Ultimately, the text demonstrates that everyone covers up or transforms in some way. Discuss.
10. It is Jack’s lack of a stable, male role model that is to blame for his actions. Discuss.
11. The reader can never fully trust the narrator because he constantly tells us how dishonest he is. Do you agree?
12. The linear nature of the memoir helps the reader to see how Toby changes as he grows up. Discuss.
13. The pop culture references make This Boy’s Life too hard for a modern audience to relate to. Do you agree?
14. The blunt and honest style of Tobias Wolff is why the memoir is so successful.
15. Toby never has an appropriate male role model; therefore he is unsure of how to behave. Do you agree?”
16. Tobias Wolff argues that family is the most important influence on a child’s development. Discuss.
17. Men and violence are inextricably linked in This Boy’s Life. Discuss.
18. Toby and Rosemary are caught between the desire for freedom and the desire to belong. Do you agree?
19. Nobody in the memoir is honest – they all use deception to get what they want. Do you agree?
20. This Boy’s Life shows that childhood is a struggle to create an identity. Discuss.
21. It is Toby’s desperate desire to be liked that cause him to do things that make him unlikeable. Do you agree?
22. This Boy’s Life shows that childhood is a struggle to create an identity. Discuss.
23. It is Toby’s desperate desire to be liked that cause him to do things that make him unlikeable. Do you agree?
24. All of the major influences in Tobias Wolff’s life lie – to him, to each other and to themselves. Discuss in relation to This Boy’s Life.
25. All of the people in the memoir present a false view of themselves. Discuss in relation to at least 2 people in This Boy’s Life.
26. The only person Toby can truly rely upon is his mother. Do you agree?
27. In This Boy’s Life, Rosemary fails as a parent. Do you agree?
28. Dwight’s influence on Toby cannot be underestimated. Discuss.
29. ‘Whatever it is that makes closeness possible between two people also puts them in the way of hard feelings if that closeness ends.’ (pg 183-4) Discuss in relation to 3 of the relationships in This Boy’s Life.
2. “This Boy’s Life” demonstrates the struggle to find an identity in a harsh environment. Discuss.
3. How does the memoir demonstrate the long lasting effects that family can have on a person?
4. “He asked me who I thought I was. I did not know how to answer this question.” Jack knows who he is, he just does not like who he is. To what extent do you agree?
5. The memoir ends in an optimistic way so that readers see hope for Jack’s future quests to find himself. Do you agree?
6. ‘This Boy’s Life’ is a depressing and pessimistic account of a boy’s search for his identity.’ Do you agree?
7. Why do readers sympathise with Jack?
8. “This Boy’s Life” is a memoir narrated by Wolff and therefore readers do not get an unbiased impression of other characters. Discuss.
9. “I didn’t come to Utah to be the same boy I’d been before. I had my own dreams of transformation.” Ultimately, the text demonstrates that everyone covers up or transforms in some way. Discuss.
10. It is Jack’s lack of a stable, male role model that is to blame for his actions. Discuss.
11. The reader can never fully trust the narrator because he constantly tells us how dishonest he is. Do you agree?
12. The linear nature of the memoir helps the reader to see how Toby changes as he grows up. Discuss.
13. The pop culture references make This Boy’s Life too hard for a modern audience to relate to. Do you agree?
14. The blunt and honest style of Tobias Wolff is why the memoir is so successful.
15. Toby never has an appropriate male role model; therefore he is unsure of how to behave. Do you agree?”
16. Tobias Wolff argues that family is the most important influence on a child’s development. Discuss.
17. Men and violence are inextricably linked in This Boy’s Life. Discuss.
18. Toby and Rosemary are caught between the desire for freedom and the desire to belong. Do you agree?
19. Nobody in the memoir is honest – they all use deception to get what they want. Do you agree?
20. This Boy’s Life shows that childhood is a struggle to create an identity. Discuss.
21. It is Toby’s desperate desire to be liked that cause him to do things that make him unlikeable. Do you agree?
22. This Boy’s Life shows that childhood is a struggle to create an identity. Discuss.
23. It is Toby’s desperate desire to be liked that cause him to do things that make him unlikeable. Do you agree?
24. All of the major influences in Tobias Wolff’s life lie – to him, to each other and to themselves. Discuss in relation to This Boy’s Life.
25. All of the people in the memoir present a false view of themselves. Discuss in relation to at least 2 people in This Boy’s Life.
26. The only person Toby can truly rely upon is his mother. Do you agree?
27. In This Boy’s Life, Rosemary fails as a parent. Do you agree?
28. Dwight’s influence on Toby cannot be underestimated. Discuss.
29. ‘Whatever it is that makes closeness possible between two people also puts them in the way of hard feelings if that closeness ends.’ (pg 183-4) Discuss in relation to 3 of the relationships in This Boy’s Life.
example essay
‘This Boy’s Life dispels any lingering nostalgia we might still have for the postwar society of the fifties.’ Discuss.
This Boy’s Life is a unique exploration of a man’s memory of his childhood. It explores the lessons one learns when reflecting on their actions as an adolescent, and the struggles adults have in understanding motivations and reasons we came to be. But this memoir moves beyond the struggles of one boy dragged up in 1950s America; it also ruminates on the effect his environment had on his eager, younger self. In particular, the text suggests that whilst this period in history breathed optimism, free will and prosperity, it was also a time that bred rebellion, stifled values and a dangerous undercurrent of violence.
Tobias Wolff grew up during the post-war hysteria. America had claimed an enormous victory in WWII, and veterans came home to parades and medals and adoration. This led to a sense of fearlessness in men, of immortality and consequently, a culture of celebration, recklessness and flight. Citizens were restless, and either needed the free will after craving it for so long, or needed to find the same feeling as everyone else. America witnessed an enormous growth period during the 50s and 60s, and people were making fortunes overnight. This is portrayed through Rosemary’s escape to “get rich on uranium”. Rosemary shared the optimism and hope of her peers, and used what resources she had to realize her dreams. However, Wolff explores the recklessness of Rosemary’s decisions, as she arrived too late in Utah and decided to live in Seattle based on a “bus leaving for Portland in a couple of hours.” Rosemary continually searches for what everyone else seemingly had, but, as Wolff suggests, the rich and fame was short lived and unattainable for so many. Even Wolff’s father, whilst seemingly a product of 1950s prosperity, with riches and little responsibility, is portrayed in a poor light to suggest this behavior has severe consequences. Rosemary’s actions, whilst gallant, show the ugliness of 1950s America rarely explored or remembered.
Wolff’s father’s actions also demonstrate further consequences of the recklessness of return servicemen and their families: the effect this had on the ‘baby boomers’, the children of this generation. Not only did Rosemary’s search for a better life bare consequences on her sons, but the lack of appropriate role models led to delinquent and antisocial behavior. Jack repeatedly reflected those of the males in his life. Roy’s obsessive behavior and intense interest in guns resulted in Jack’s experimentation with his own gun and the thrill of violence as glorified by war. He admits that “the innocence I laughed at began to irritate me” as he lined up innocent people through his crosshairs, and believed Roy was “what a man should be”. Similarly, Dwight’s cruel and unpredictable led to similar behavior in Jack. Jack took up vandalism and his transformation to an “outlaw”, and his fears that Dwight’s cruelty could be heard “in my own when I speak to me children in anger.” Wolff, through the relationships Jack holds with Roy, Dwight and his father, suggests that the lack of appropriate role models, and the culture of guns and glorified violence, had negative effects on the younger generation.
Whilst the 1950s saw an increase in prosperity, freedom and impulsiveness, it also held a conservative viewpoint that led to fractures in society. Soldiers were returning home from traumatic and lonely environments, longing for the America before the war. Church attendance grew and national pride in the American dream spiked. A crucial paradox existed in society; the need to explore and live in the moment, and the need to return to a sense of normality where traditional roles were reinstated. This is reflected in both Rosemary and Jack. Rosemary, despite having a glimpse of independent life with Marian and Kathy, based most of her decisions on her need to provide a stable family and father figure for Jack. Additionally, Jack, albeit upon reflection, was searching for acceptance, for normality is his highly abnormal existence. This is shown most strikingly in his lies to his mother regarding Dwight where he resigned to “take as my father a man who was offended by my existence”. It is also shown in his pursuit for a better life in the prep school, where he wanted “distinction, and the respectable forms of it seemed to be eluding me”. Perhaps most poignant, is in his decision turn down his uncle’s offer to live in France, he writes he “was my mother’s son, I could not be anyone else’s”. This shows the innate need in both Rosemary and Jack for a life of normalcy and acceptance. This further reflects the undercurrent and dichotomy of the time, competing values between elation and trauma after the war.
Jack and Rosemary both remain a product of their time. Their decisions are primarily based on a need for a better life. However, these very decisions, and the obstacles they face, demonstrate a darker side to 1950s America, where delinquency and a gun culture had severe impacts on the young generation, and the conservatism of the family unit remained the epitome and only model of suburban life.
This Boy’s Life is a unique exploration of a man’s memory of his childhood. It explores the lessons one learns when reflecting on their actions as an adolescent, and the struggles adults have in understanding motivations and reasons we came to be. But this memoir moves beyond the struggles of one boy dragged up in 1950s America; it also ruminates on the effect his environment had on his eager, younger self. In particular, the text suggests that whilst this period in history breathed optimism, free will and prosperity, it was also a time that bred rebellion, stifled values and a dangerous undercurrent of violence.
Tobias Wolff grew up during the post-war hysteria. America had claimed an enormous victory in WWII, and veterans came home to parades and medals and adoration. This led to a sense of fearlessness in men, of immortality and consequently, a culture of celebration, recklessness and flight. Citizens were restless, and either needed the free will after craving it for so long, or needed to find the same feeling as everyone else. America witnessed an enormous growth period during the 50s and 60s, and people were making fortunes overnight. This is portrayed through Rosemary’s escape to “get rich on uranium”. Rosemary shared the optimism and hope of her peers, and used what resources she had to realize her dreams. However, Wolff explores the recklessness of Rosemary’s decisions, as she arrived too late in Utah and decided to live in Seattle based on a “bus leaving for Portland in a couple of hours.” Rosemary continually searches for what everyone else seemingly had, but, as Wolff suggests, the rich and fame was short lived and unattainable for so many. Even Wolff’s father, whilst seemingly a product of 1950s prosperity, with riches and little responsibility, is portrayed in a poor light to suggest this behavior has severe consequences. Rosemary’s actions, whilst gallant, show the ugliness of 1950s America rarely explored or remembered.
Wolff’s father’s actions also demonstrate further consequences of the recklessness of return servicemen and their families: the effect this had on the ‘baby boomers’, the children of this generation. Not only did Rosemary’s search for a better life bare consequences on her sons, but the lack of appropriate role models led to delinquent and antisocial behavior. Jack repeatedly reflected those of the males in his life. Roy’s obsessive behavior and intense interest in guns resulted in Jack’s experimentation with his own gun and the thrill of violence as glorified by war. He admits that “the innocence I laughed at began to irritate me” as he lined up innocent people through his crosshairs, and believed Roy was “what a man should be”. Similarly, Dwight’s cruel and unpredictable led to similar behavior in Jack. Jack took up vandalism and his transformation to an “outlaw”, and his fears that Dwight’s cruelty could be heard “in my own when I speak to me children in anger.” Wolff, through the relationships Jack holds with Roy, Dwight and his father, suggests that the lack of appropriate role models, and the culture of guns and glorified violence, had negative effects on the younger generation.
Whilst the 1950s saw an increase in prosperity, freedom and impulsiveness, it also held a conservative viewpoint that led to fractures in society. Soldiers were returning home from traumatic and lonely environments, longing for the America before the war. Church attendance grew and national pride in the American dream spiked. A crucial paradox existed in society; the need to explore and live in the moment, and the need to return to a sense of normality where traditional roles were reinstated. This is reflected in both Rosemary and Jack. Rosemary, despite having a glimpse of independent life with Marian and Kathy, based most of her decisions on her need to provide a stable family and father figure for Jack. Additionally, Jack, albeit upon reflection, was searching for acceptance, for normality is his highly abnormal existence. This is shown most strikingly in his lies to his mother regarding Dwight where he resigned to “take as my father a man who was offended by my existence”. It is also shown in his pursuit for a better life in the prep school, where he wanted “distinction, and the respectable forms of it seemed to be eluding me”. Perhaps most poignant, is in his decision turn down his uncle’s offer to live in France, he writes he “was my mother’s son, I could not be anyone else’s”. This shows the innate need in both Rosemary and Jack for a life of normalcy and acceptance. This further reflects the undercurrent and dichotomy of the time, competing values between elation and trauma after the war.
Jack and Rosemary both remain a product of their time. Their decisions are primarily based on a need for a better life. However, these very decisions, and the obstacles they face, demonstrate a darker side to 1950s America, where delinquency and a gun culture had severe impacts on the young generation, and the conservatism of the family unit remained the epitome and only model of suburban life.
This boy's life example essay 2
In This Boy’s Life, Rosemary fails as a parent. Do you agree?
Tobias Wolff recalls Dwight’s violent and destructive nature, and from his first day at Chinook Toby is abused by him. Nevertheless, Toby’s unconditional love for his mother gives him strength to not only attempt to build a relationship with Dwight, but also survive his less than ideal childhood. Metaphorically, Rosemary is always present inToby’s writing and therefore this is as much her story as it is Toby’s and a reflection onher influence. Toby’s writing allows him to escape the brutality of his world, explore different versions of himself and the difficult journey of growing up and becoming a man. Wolff’s terse and laconic use of language captures the tension of his struggle during his journey characterized by a search for an identity and a struggle to become a man.
Rosemary’s unconditional love provides Toby with the constancy and support that he desperately needs. This memoir is just as much of her story as it is Toby’s. Wolff’s reference to his mind becoming a “desert” highlights the idea of him, despite constantly being confused and doubtful about most things, being sure of not wanting to leave his mother and feeling that the right thing to do for him is to stay. He sees himself as a son,but also as a protector. The poignant image of Rosemary guiding Toby’s hand with hers when teaching him to write emphasizes the fact that she played a formative role in Toby becoming a writer. Without Rosemary, Toby “could not, cannot’ write, because she is always metaphorically present when he “puts pen to paper”. The use of ‘cannot’ and the projection of the voice into the present tense captures the fact that Rosemary is just as important to him now as she was during his childhood and adolescence. The narrative voice belongs to a child, however the adult’s reflection comes through when Wolff incorporates Anton Chekhov’s aphorism “The human heart is a dark forest”,drawing parallels with the possibility of Rosemary’s silence being due to a part of her wanting solitary freedom and having no ‘weight’ pulling her down. Perhaps for her,Toby’s departure could mean an escape from a violent and abusive man she does not love, a small town with no opportunities and a completely new beginning, with no living reminders of the past. However, Toby being merely a boy, who does not understand the‘why’s of his world’ and the motivations of adults, fails to see the reasons behind his mother’s inarticulateness and the child’s naivety allows him to believe that Rosemary wanted him to stay with her.
Wolff’s economic and honest prose reveals the destructive nature of Dwight and the pressure he put upon Toby to leave for Paris. The language captures Dwight’s abusive nature through the images of Dwight’s ‘flaring nostrils’ and the ‘jabbing’ of his finger at Toby. Even as a boy, Toby understands that Dwight is doing everything in his power to get rid of him, however the prose is devoid of an understanding about why this is so. From his very first day in Chinook, Toby is abused by Dwight. Wolff describes his drive with Dwight from Seattle as “sullen reverie”, alluding to Dwight’s violence which is yet to come. The prose, written with detachment and formality and in a grim yet accepting tone, reveals the tension between Dwight and Toby, and the chilling memory of Dwight killing a beaver forebodes a grotesqueness. Toby’s attempt to do what Dwight had told him to despite his fear highlights his unconditional love for his mother, his willingness to put up with this kind of treatment for her and not let her down. The image of Dwight being strained by the beaver’s weight is a metaphorical of the tainting of Toby’s youth and innocence and the blood which ran from the beaver’s nose and onto Dwight’s shoes is symbolic of forever staining Dwight’s soul for destroying Toby’s childhood and inner child, consequently taking away the youthful days that can never be returned. The narrative voice is honest, however despite the grotesqueness of the scene, the voice is not angry and Wolff is not portraying himself as a victim. The use of short and laconic sentences builds up a dark, ominous and foreboding tone through the images of “the river flashed green”, “pale cold” and “mountains darkened”. It is as though the environment is attempting to warn Toby of the cruelty and struggle that awaits him.
Having heard that Toby has been imitating him, Dwight acts cooly and discourteously towards Toby from the beginning and his behavior serves as a contrast to the display of manners and humor he showed for Rosemary, and sums up his personality- violent,drunk and ever offended by Toby’s existence. The “fogged up” glass isolates Toby from Dwight, and perhaps alludes to the idea of Dwight, from the very beginning, not taking an interest in Toby or being a positive part of his life, as well as the lasting effect Dwight’s behavior would have on Toby’s identity, which he was not able to see at that time as a child. Toby’s attempt at making everything “just right” exposes his deep love his mother and his attempt to make her happy, knowing that Rosemary dreams of a family. However, it is not just Rosemary that motivates Toby’s attempt at making things“just right”, it also his own struggle on a search for a father, and despite not liking Dwight, Toby is willing to give him a chance as he desperately needs a father-figure. One of Toby’s ideal selves-the all American boy-requires a functional family to assume that pose, and Dwight is this chance of acquiring it. Furthermore, Toby’s willingness to accept his faith and whatever Dwight tells him is due his sense of powerlessness, his naivety and his lack of control. From the beginning of the memoir, Toby believes that he has no control over his life and in most sections of the memoir his tone is one of acceptance. However, as an adult he realizes that experience is central to understanding. Freudian studies have shown that children from split up families tend to blame themselves for the separation of their parents. This theory is applicable to Toby,and apart from feeling at fault, perhaps even unconsciously; he is attempting to punish himself by obeying Dwight and keeping quiet, and make up for his family’s break up.
Much of Toby’s childhood seems to be the record of conflict between the boy that he is and the idealized young man he feels he should be, struggling through his journey of adolescence. The prose describing the memory of Toby sitting by the river with Father Karl becomes more elaborate and descriptive, in contrast to the usual masculine prose that characterizes the memoir - laconic and observational- when Wolff describes the environment. The narrative voice is conceived in the memory, describing the “river swollen with run off”, “more brown than green”, “chuckling and hissing” along the bank.The river is alluding to Wolff’s childhood being more brutal and violent than happy, and his journey into manhood being of constant complications and failings. Perhaps Wolff had used the river as a metaphorical representation of life, full of complications yet continuing to “seethe” from obstacles to eventually find “a deep steady sigh that never changed”, eternal peace. Nevertheless, a touch of optimism remains in the narrator’s voice, describing the birds and the new leaves, connoting life and Toby’s youthfulness,and therefore his much remaining time to find himself, before the “steady sigh”. Mr.Bolger’s success at making Toby feel disappointed for not apologizing to the Welches does not last, because Toby being a child “got over it”, perhaps due to anticipation of beginning a new life at Hill or perhaps because he felt no guilt for not apologizing, as apologizing is not a manly thing to do. Therefore, in essence, Toby had cancelled the bad and the good, leaving his conscience free to carry on about his business.
What is certain is that Rosemary’s unconditional love as well as Toby’s own ability to write, had provided him with the support to get through his less that idyllic childhood,follow his boundless ambitions, find his identity and become a man who is able to live and love well.
Tobias Wolff recalls Dwight’s violent and destructive nature, and from his first day at Chinook Toby is abused by him. Nevertheless, Toby’s unconditional love for his mother gives him strength to not only attempt to build a relationship with Dwight, but also survive his less than ideal childhood. Metaphorically, Rosemary is always present inToby’s writing and therefore this is as much her story as it is Toby’s and a reflection onher influence. Toby’s writing allows him to escape the brutality of his world, explore different versions of himself and the difficult journey of growing up and becoming a man. Wolff’s terse and laconic use of language captures the tension of his struggle during his journey characterized by a search for an identity and a struggle to become a man.
Rosemary’s unconditional love provides Toby with the constancy and support that he desperately needs. This memoir is just as much of her story as it is Toby’s. Wolff’s reference to his mind becoming a “desert” highlights the idea of him, despite constantly being confused and doubtful about most things, being sure of not wanting to leave his mother and feeling that the right thing to do for him is to stay. He sees himself as a son,but also as a protector. The poignant image of Rosemary guiding Toby’s hand with hers when teaching him to write emphasizes the fact that she played a formative role in Toby becoming a writer. Without Rosemary, Toby “could not, cannot’ write, because she is always metaphorically present when he “puts pen to paper”. The use of ‘cannot’ and the projection of the voice into the present tense captures the fact that Rosemary is just as important to him now as she was during his childhood and adolescence. The narrative voice belongs to a child, however the adult’s reflection comes through when Wolff incorporates Anton Chekhov’s aphorism “The human heart is a dark forest”,drawing parallels with the possibility of Rosemary’s silence being due to a part of her wanting solitary freedom and having no ‘weight’ pulling her down. Perhaps for her,Toby’s departure could mean an escape from a violent and abusive man she does not love, a small town with no opportunities and a completely new beginning, with no living reminders of the past. However, Toby being merely a boy, who does not understand the‘why’s of his world’ and the motivations of adults, fails to see the reasons behind his mother’s inarticulateness and the child’s naivety allows him to believe that Rosemary wanted him to stay with her.
Wolff’s economic and honest prose reveals the destructive nature of Dwight and the pressure he put upon Toby to leave for Paris. The language captures Dwight’s abusive nature through the images of Dwight’s ‘flaring nostrils’ and the ‘jabbing’ of his finger at Toby. Even as a boy, Toby understands that Dwight is doing everything in his power to get rid of him, however the prose is devoid of an understanding about why this is so. From his very first day in Chinook, Toby is abused by Dwight. Wolff describes his drive with Dwight from Seattle as “sullen reverie”, alluding to Dwight’s violence which is yet to come. The prose, written with detachment and formality and in a grim yet accepting tone, reveals the tension between Dwight and Toby, and the chilling memory of Dwight killing a beaver forebodes a grotesqueness. Toby’s attempt to do what Dwight had told him to despite his fear highlights his unconditional love for his mother, his willingness to put up with this kind of treatment for her and not let her down. The image of Dwight being strained by the beaver’s weight is a metaphorical of the tainting of Toby’s youth and innocence and the blood which ran from the beaver’s nose and onto Dwight’s shoes is symbolic of forever staining Dwight’s soul for destroying Toby’s childhood and inner child, consequently taking away the youthful days that can never be returned. The narrative voice is honest, however despite the grotesqueness of the scene, the voice is not angry and Wolff is not portraying himself as a victim. The use of short and laconic sentences builds up a dark, ominous and foreboding tone through the images of “the river flashed green”, “pale cold” and “mountains darkened”. It is as though the environment is attempting to warn Toby of the cruelty and struggle that awaits him.
Having heard that Toby has been imitating him, Dwight acts cooly and discourteously towards Toby from the beginning and his behavior serves as a contrast to the display of manners and humor he showed for Rosemary, and sums up his personality- violent,drunk and ever offended by Toby’s existence. The “fogged up” glass isolates Toby from Dwight, and perhaps alludes to the idea of Dwight, from the very beginning, not taking an interest in Toby or being a positive part of his life, as well as the lasting effect Dwight’s behavior would have on Toby’s identity, which he was not able to see at that time as a child. Toby’s attempt at making everything “just right” exposes his deep love his mother and his attempt to make her happy, knowing that Rosemary dreams of a family. However, it is not just Rosemary that motivates Toby’s attempt at making things“just right”, it also his own struggle on a search for a father, and despite not liking Dwight, Toby is willing to give him a chance as he desperately needs a father-figure. One of Toby’s ideal selves-the all American boy-requires a functional family to assume that pose, and Dwight is this chance of acquiring it. Furthermore, Toby’s willingness to accept his faith and whatever Dwight tells him is due his sense of powerlessness, his naivety and his lack of control. From the beginning of the memoir, Toby believes that he has no control over his life and in most sections of the memoir his tone is one of acceptance. However, as an adult he realizes that experience is central to understanding. Freudian studies have shown that children from split up families tend to blame themselves for the separation of their parents. This theory is applicable to Toby,and apart from feeling at fault, perhaps even unconsciously; he is attempting to punish himself by obeying Dwight and keeping quiet, and make up for his family’s break up.
Much of Toby’s childhood seems to be the record of conflict between the boy that he is and the idealized young man he feels he should be, struggling through his journey of adolescence. The prose describing the memory of Toby sitting by the river with Father Karl becomes more elaborate and descriptive, in contrast to the usual masculine prose that characterizes the memoir - laconic and observational- when Wolff describes the environment. The narrative voice is conceived in the memory, describing the “river swollen with run off”, “more brown than green”, “chuckling and hissing” along the bank.The river is alluding to Wolff’s childhood being more brutal and violent than happy, and his journey into manhood being of constant complications and failings. Perhaps Wolff had used the river as a metaphorical representation of life, full of complications yet continuing to “seethe” from obstacles to eventually find “a deep steady sigh that never changed”, eternal peace. Nevertheless, a touch of optimism remains in the narrator’s voice, describing the birds and the new leaves, connoting life and Toby’s youthfulness,and therefore his much remaining time to find himself, before the “steady sigh”. Mr.Bolger’s success at making Toby feel disappointed for not apologizing to the Welches does not last, because Toby being a child “got over it”, perhaps due to anticipation of beginning a new life at Hill or perhaps because he felt no guilt for not apologizing, as apologizing is not a manly thing to do. Therefore, in essence, Toby had cancelled the bad and the good, leaving his conscience free to carry on about his business.
What is certain is that Rosemary’s unconditional love as well as Toby’s own ability to write, had provided him with the support to get through his less that idyllic childhood,follow his boundless ambitions, find his identity and become a man who is able to live and love well.